19 Hilarious Ideas that Non-Coffee Drinkers Will Understand
1. You have no problems dragging yourself out of bed and getting along just fine without the aid of coffee
2. You are baffled by the addiction that some of your friends have to coffee
3. Eating a real breakfast is mandatory for you and coffee is not a "complete breakfast"
4. People who get coffee with their dessert at dinner blow your mind. How will they ever sleep? Do they fight crime after you're done with dinner?
5. A coffee menu might as well be in a foreign language because it doesn't mean a darn thing to you
6. Nor do all the different sizes of cups available at coffee shops. Big gulps, huh? Welp, see ya later...
7. A coffee shop is not a place for you to spend your time and money
8. And what is the deal with pumpkin-spiced lattes?
9. You can't fathom how someone can spend their money on coffee instead of delicious food. Coffee doesn't even fill you up!
10. Or alcohol for that matter. There's booze out there that is cheaper than coffee!
11. There's nothing more awkward on this planet than a work meeting at a coffee shop where you are the only one who isn't enjoying a cup of joe. Your co-workers are just staring at you in awe
12. And people's reaction to you not drinking coffee is often laughable
13. After they wrap their head around the idea that you don't indulge in coffee they instantly go into detective mode to learn your secrets of coping with everyday life without coffee
14. You've experience stressed and anxiety in your life but never the "coffee jitters"
15. You notice that you are disgusted by the smell inside the coffee shop while everyone else is leaning over their cup of coffee or espresso to inhale the sweet nectar's scent
16. And you'd rather deal with someone's cigarette breath than coffee breath
17. People stare at you blankly when you tell them that the taste of coffee just doesn't float-your-boat
18. Or that coffee is just not part of your lifestyle
19. But non-drinkers are at least willing to admit that coffee drinkers are definitely the superior people!
Original article: Buzzfeed